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Exit strategy – it doesn’t
have to be religious
Increasing numbers of
people in the UK opt for an alternative to
religious ceremonies when it comes to
births, weddings and funerals.
George
Broadhead takes a closer look.
For many years, I co-ordinated Humanist
ceremonies for lesbian and gay couples on
behalf of the UK’s only gay Humanist
charity, the Pink Triangle Trust (PTT).
These were “affirmations” of love and
commitment and were conducted by Humanist
celebrants all over the country.
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George Broadhead |
Christian spokespersons
interviewed in the media are fond of
justifying their claim that Britain is still
a Christian country by referring to the 2001
census, which indicated that 70 per cent of
the UK population considered themselves
Christian.
However, they refrain
from mentioning that the 2010 British Social
Survey – which is commissioned by the
National Centre for Social Research and is
one of the largest annual polls of opinion
in Britain – revealed that this situation
has now changed radically.
When asked which, if any,
religion they belonged to, 50 per cent said
they were Christian and 43 per cent said
they had no religion. The latter figure is a
good deal higher than the total number of
Roman Catholics and all the minority
religions (Buddhism Hinduism, Islam, Sikhism
etc.) put together!
Totally
secular
It is not surprising,
therefore, that more and more ceremonies,
such as funerals, which used to be almost
always religious – mainly Christian, of
course – are now totally secular.
There are various
Humanist organisations that have taken
advantage of the increasing demand for
these, including: the British Humanist
Association; Humani (the Humanist
Association of Northern Ireland); the
Humanist Society of Scotland; the
Association of Humanist Celebrants;
Tyne-Tees Celebrants; and various autonomous
local Humanist groups, such as: Brighton and
Hove, Coventry and Warwickshire, Liverpool,
Suffolk and Somerset.
A Humanist secular
funeral can take place at a crematorium, a
cemetery or a woodland burial ground. It
tries to capture the essence of the
deceased’s personality so that it will be
remembered as an occasion that uniquely and
affectionately honoured the life that has
ended.
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Coffin in
woodland
© Native Woodland |
There are no hymns or
prayers, and this can be particularly
appropriate if the person who has died did
not have a religious view of life and death,
or if members of the family and close
friends differ in their religious views. In
such cases, a Humanist ceremony can bring
warmth and meaning for everyone.
Music
Each ceremony is
different and highly personal, so it is
helpful for the celebrant to get to know as
much as possible about the person who has
died. Family or friends may wish to
participate by reading a short prose
passage, or a poem, or to contribute their
own reminiscences. They can also choose the
music if they wish, perhaps some that was
especially enjoyed by the deceased. The only
constraint on all this is the time allotted
for the ceremony.
The ceremony usually
includes a short period of silence, which
the celebrant will introduce as an
opportunity for personal meditation or, for
those with a religious faith, private
prayer. It is both an appreciation of the
deceased’s life and a way of bringing
consolation to those whose lives are touched
by the loss.
Humanist celebrants come
from a variety of backgrounds. They are men
and women who have experience at public
speaking and are sensitive to the distress
and the feeling of vulnerability felt by
bereaved people.
Make
preferences clear
They will wish to meet
and talk with those responsible for
arranging the funeral and to the deceased’s
family and friends closely affected by the
death. They are paid a fee, similar to that
charged by clergy, and this is arranged by
the funeral director, who handles the
payment.
If you want to ensure
that a Humanist or any other nonreligious
ceremony is conducted and not a religious
one, you can stipulate this in your will,
but it is also essential to make your
preference clear to whoever will be
responsible for arranging the funeral – the
executor(s) of the will, your spouse or
partner, a member of your family or close
friend.
A useful publication for
prose and poetry for secular ceremonies is
Seasons of Life: Prose and Poetry for
Secular Ceremonies and Private Reflection,
compiled by Nigel Collins and published by
the Rational Press Association (it was
reviewed by my colleague Andy Armitage
in
G&LH, Winter 2000–2001.
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